Short List

Negotiating is an exercise in small group dynamics from social psychology. When negotiating, it is important to:

• Focus
• Take notes
• Listen intently and carefully
• Pay attention and be engaged
• You want the other person to feel your commitment.
• Speak slowly and clearly
• Set limits
• If you have legitimate options, be prepared to walk away.

It is easy to get your ego involved and committed to a position and pass up opportunities to get to your primary goal in a manner not consistent with a fixed position. Along these same lines, don't cloud your questions or issues with unwarranted assumptions.

An Example of Faulty Assumptions

A clever study that several universities have done was to ask students what they think of this quote,

"A little storm in the political world is as healthy as a storm in the physical world."

For one half of the students, the quotation was attributed to Lenin. For the other half, the quotation was attributed to its author, Thomas Jefferson. For those who thought the quotation was from Lenin, it was perceived as a negative comment. For the other half, it was perceived as a positive comment.

Keep your issues clean and free of extraneous information.

Clarify - Obtain Answers

If you don’t understand something that is said, ask for clarification. Clarification will help you understand the issues and give you time to think about their efficacy and how they may affect your position and goals.

Be aware when the other person involved in the negotiation doesn’t answer your question. DON’T ACCEPT NON ANSWERS. Watch politicians on Sunday morning talk shows to learn about not answering questions.

I know you may not believe it, but most of you have been negotiating informally on a daily basis.